For *Paul*
This story will make you believe in Karma
("My freshman year I was kicked off the Paul Robeson floor by Kelly Hennessey. "
This week I graduated, and thus came to an end 4 productive years. Interestingly enough, most of my friends, activities, glee club, centurion, etc began in my junior year. Thus formulated my college experience. My freshman year and the beginning of my sophomore were the dark ages looking back, a time when I was very alone, lost without purpose, constantly on the phone with a high-school girlfriend, indeed, I spent most of my time alone in isolated sadness with no friends....
My freshman year of college I was placed in a triple room on the second floor of Campbell. One of my roomates was gay. The other was just bizarre. Two months in I volunteered to leave and was put on an all-black, floor, the Paul Robeson floor, on Mettler 3 in November. I was placed with, no joke, an Indian midget named "Hashish" who smelled like shit. Then he transfered. I had a single. For the month of January, I never left my room. Then on Valentines day, the one year anniversary of James/███████, in came a greek kid named Paul. Paul was an absolute nightmare. From the get-go, he told me he wanted a single. He told me he would do whatever it took to kick me out of th room. Paul lied, planted his girlfirends underpants in my bed, poured granuals in my keyboard destroying my computer, threw my internet box on the ground. In a climax of frustration, I put an article from The New York Times criticizing Greece on my door. (He had told me he plans to go back to Greece and soon as he's done "milking" America for our education system.) He made up some lie about me physically harming him, planted evidence and called the police, as well as his "lawyers." Paul was openly racist. He had referrred to everyone on the "Paul Robeson" floor as "monkeys." Then, to my horror, he actually said to the all-black RAs that I called everyone on the floor "niggers." - a complete lie. It was my word against his. I was lead out of the room crying and screaming at him and my situation, no friends, no one one to talk to., forced to go in front of a black man, Dean Tolbert, to defend myself and help explain that I did not call anyone any names. Paul then told Kelly Hennessy, the multicultural dorm director, that I "touched" him. (We shook hands the first week). in April Paul then did the unfathomable- he actually went ahead and logically took my confession of having shook his hand as a confession that I "Touched" him. Kelly Hennessy bought the bullshit. I was Out-witted by a manipulative fuck of a Greek. And all I wanted to do was Transfer from Rutgers- the god-awful place that did all of this to me.
In short, My freshman year Paul Torinidis had me kicked off the Paul Robeson floor by lying to Kelly Hennesey. Hennessy and Tolberd heard accusations of racial bias and didn't give me a chance to defend myself. After I was kicked out, Paul then flew a huge greek flag in the window where I lived.
Three weeks later, Paul failed out of Rutgers.
I wrote this in March, 2003 in a pool of my own tears. Because words could not express what Paul had done to me, I was just confused and cheated. What do I do, who do I talk to, where do I go from here? Is this what college is about?
The subsequent poem I wrote was a national finalist.
My roomate and I haven't spoken in two weeks and now this. Some people arepurely evil. Some people are so deceitful, manipulative, hurtful and cunning, thatit makes you feel that when yourwith that person the world isn't even worth fighting for. When you encounter a situation where your dignity is being held against your will, when someone threatens your emotional well-being for their own cheap advantage, when that same person uses you and violates your mind in ways you didn't know it could be violated, it forces you to reavaluate who you are as a person. This could be in the form of aninjustice, such as a wrongful conviction, it could come in the form of abetrayal from a friend or an ex-lover, whatever it is, it leaves you helpless bracing that reasurrance deep inside yourself that comforts you. I haven't really ever experienced these people in my life. for the most for the most part people are inherently good and there are some invisible laws and trusts and principals that are always upheld. People i've always been associated with have never crossed that line into the realm of irratioanlity, and if they have, It's easy to distance yourself from them ,it's easy to isolate them in your mind, your capable of realizing that they're wrong and your right. Right?
Not with PaulPaul has fucked with my mind, broken the rules of interaction that you deem unnescary to even lay out, gone beyond irrationality to the point he is evil in a rational way, destorting reality while maintaing the truth, threatening me and making me feel like the shit on his shoe, and then celebrating another victory. Why did it come to this? Why?
Because I fought back. Because when he called me an ass hole and said that i smell, i said i didn't like that language, and his girlfiend smells. When he retalitated by saying America sucks, i said Greece sucks. When he Told me not to plug MY COMPUTER into the interent socket (Becauseit happened to be on his side of the room and he's territorial) I did it anyways, when he throws my computer part on the ground in rage i told him he was going to have to pay for it, in defiance i stood up and screamed athim and told him I'm NOT swallowing my pride for you, I respect you even though you don\'t respect me, I speakto you kindly, i treat you decently, I've made compromises, taken your accusations, AND YOU ARE WRONG. Paul called the police, told me his daddy was going to arrest me, he had his lawyers ready to file charges of assuault, threats, SEXUAL ABUSE,RACISM, GREEK BIAS, and he even threatened to have me kicked out of the university in handcuffs. He told everyone he knew lies and manipulated everythign i have ever said, sometimes even jovially; into serious accusations , and worst of all, he made up shit about my pyscholgical history and started telling everyone he knew that his safety is in danger and James needs help.
From once making me a cd and offering me a slice ofpizza, he now holds that against me saying he treated me like a king. He now says i sniff his girfirend's underwear, and he told his girlfirend's parents who are out after me, he told me his lawyers would hang me, and he's got proof, evidence angainst me in "a court of law"he has taken statements i have made, purpously embellished them into theworng context and used them against me, trying to kick me oiut of myroom. this is the person who has treated me like shit from day one. WHOCWOURLDNT EVEN LET ME PLUG MY COMPUTER IN!!! but i have no evidence, i'm not a sneeky rat, and my quick wit doesn't come in false accustaions orsadistic threats, and i certainly do not document his actions, even though he spends everyday in my room with his girfriend all day for hours, I respect them and leave them alone always-- i ran out and he told me not tocome back. So instead of punching him in the face and having him win (i seriouslywould have done it) i ran outside, crying hysterically not knowing who to call or what to do, i simply have neverfelt so terrible before, at least in the last couple years, never felt so alone inside myself or so captured by another human being, all i wanted todo was have someone anyone know the TRUTH, i didn't even want a hug,becuase i was set up, and i still feel inside captured by his evil trap, and I've never encountered anyone so manipulative, so decieveing, so pernicious, in Paul. He's very sick. If you have encountered someone like this in your life, you can relate, you know how it feels, it feels like cancer, it drains you completely, t ohave someone attack you in such a awful way, and have people beleive him and hear him tell them whacked-out sick things about me,and i guess thats what scares me, i need to get very far very very veryfar away from people like that in my life. I need to be around peoplethat love me for me, and will not attack me in such a way. This is a warnign to you that people like this exist out there,sometimes in the beginning camouflaged in jovialness or laid back-ness butbe careful what you say, be careful what you reveal, and you don't have to sacrifice yourself for these people you don't have to become evil tocompete, you just have to stay far far far far far far away and know thatyou are loved
Thanks for listening.
Not with PaulPaul has fucked with my mind, broken the rules of interaction that you deem unnescary to even lay out, gone beyond irrationality to the point he is evil in a rational way, destorting reality while maintaing the truth, threatening me and making me feel like the shit on his shoe, and then celebrating another victory. Why did it come to this? Why?
Because I fought back. Because when he called me an ass hole and said that i smell, i said i didn't like that language, and his girlfiend smells. When he retalitated by saying America sucks, i said Greece sucks. When he Told me not to plug MY COMPUTER into the interent socket (Becauseit happened to be on his side of the room and he's territorial) I did it anyways, when he throws my computer part on the ground in rage i told him he was going to have to pay for it, in defiance i stood up and screamed athim and told him I'm NOT swallowing my pride for you, I respect you even though you don\'t respect me, I speakto you kindly, i treat you decently, I've made compromises, taken your accusations, AND YOU ARE WRONG. Paul called the police, told me his daddy was going to arrest me, he had his lawyers ready to file charges of assuault, threats, SEXUAL ABUSE,RACISM, GREEK BIAS, and he even threatened to have me kicked out of the university in handcuffs. He told everyone he knew lies and manipulated everythign i have ever said, sometimes even jovially; into serious accusations , and worst of all, he made up shit about my pyscholgical history and started telling everyone he knew that his safety is in danger and James needs help.
From once making me a cd and offering me a slice ofpizza, he now holds that against me saying he treated me like a king. He now says i sniff his girfirend's underwear, and he told his girlfirend's parents who are out after me, he told me his lawyers would hang me, and he's got proof, evidence angainst me in "a court of law"he has taken statements i have made, purpously embellished them into theworng context and used them against me, trying to kick me oiut of myroom. this is the person who has treated me like shit from day one. WHOCWOURLDNT EVEN LET ME PLUG MY COMPUTER IN!!! but i have no evidence, i'm not a sneeky rat, and my quick wit doesn't come in false accustaions orsadistic threats, and i certainly do not document his actions, even though he spends everyday in my room with his girfriend all day for hours, I respect them and leave them alone always-- i ran out and he told me not tocome back. So instead of punching him in the face and having him win (i seriouslywould have done it) i ran outside, crying hysterically not knowing who to call or what to do, i simply have neverfelt so terrible before, at least in the last couple years, never felt so alone inside myself or so captured by another human being, all i wanted todo was have someone anyone know the TRUTH, i didn't even want a hug,becuase i was set up, and i still feel inside captured by his evil trap, and I've never encountered anyone so manipulative, so decieveing, so pernicious, in Paul. He's very sick. If you have encountered someone like this in your life, you can relate, you know how it feels, it feels like cancer, it drains you completely, t ohave someone attack you in such a awful way, and have people beleive him and hear him tell them whacked-out sick things about me,and i guess thats what scares me, i need to get very far very very veryfar away from people like that in my life. I need to be around peoplethat love me for me, and will not attack me in such a way. This is a warnign to you that people like this exist out there,sometimes in the beginning camouflaged in jovialness or laid back-ness butbe careful what you say, be careful what you reveal, and you don't have to sacrifice yourself for these people you don't have to become evil tocompete, you just have to stay far far far far far far away and know thatyou are loved
Thanks for listening.
For Paul
There's no way to Summarize People Like You
Putting me Down and Loving it too
I wasn't born knowing the Color of your skin
Your Deep-rooted hate
The way you manipulate
Your bitter angry conscience
Or your national origin
You can abuse my innocense
But be forwarned
I don't have your quick-wit
I got more
The Wind is my only friend
Through the Air I soar
I burn like a fire
And fight for my right to roar
You want to spit and lie?
Soak me with despair??
Slander my character find solace there...
Magnify my weaknesses and fuck with my mind?
Look for an evil in my you can't find?
Behind closed doors you run and you hide
And you scream so loud it hurts inside
Because beneath your pretending and all that you sell
The man that I am
Scares you like hell
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